The City Wit.
ACT. V.
Craſy, Tryman, Pyannet, Toby.
Try.O thou Varlet, thou unconſcionable Unbelie-
ver, ungodly Miſcreant! Haſt thou cozen’d my
eaſie Credulity? And wouldſt have undone and mar-
ried me, like a Cony-catching companion, as thou art?
Didſt not thou tell me, thou hadſt moderate means of
life, friends of faſhion, and civill reputation? And now
this vertuous, religious Gentlewoman tells me, thou
Py.Nay, and has not a hole to put thy head in,
ry.But I thank this Matrons worſhip, her pity will
not permit my eaſie Nature to ſuffer under thy Co-
ſenage: But beſtowes her generous Son and Heire
Py.A Gentleman of another ſpheare, another
ranck then you are Sirrah; that ſhall have three hun-
dred yeare in
Eſſe, and five in
Poſſe.
ry.That is acquainted with young Lords; has
had the honour to make a Hunting match.
o.I, and a challenge to ride the wilde Gooſe
ry.That hath made Ladies Poſies for Cheeſe tren-
o.And play’d with Counteſſes at Shuttle-cock.
F 2Try.
The City Wit.
ry.And to this Elegant Spirit and choice hope am
I, and my Fortunes contracted.
ry.Yes Sir, contracted. Look you, I dare ſeale it
o.She is mine ſir, mine ſir. Do you mark, I dare
likewiſe ſeale it ſir.
Kiſſe.
Cra.Is there honeſty in this dealing?
Py.Yes ſir, Is there not profit in this dealing?
Cra.Tis very well. If there be no Law upon words,
Oathes and Pre-contracts, and Witneſs. If a man may
ſpend a hundred Angels upon a Widdow; have her
affied before Witneſs, and then have his Noſe wip’d of
Tryman takes Pyannet and Toby aſide.
ry.Intruth deare heart, and ſweet Mother in ex-
pectation, to ſpeak equally, there have ſome words of
courſe paſt betwixt us, which may ſeem to impart ſome
Ingagement. Surely I have been too liberall of ſome
ſpeech of advantage. Truly it would not be amiſs,
(conſidering his Expence and Intereſt) to fall to ſome
ſlight Compoſition. Some hundred Pounds would
make the poor Knave do any thing.
o.Mother, let’s be wiſe. Let’s be wiſe Mother;
fetch a hundred peeces preſently: That even upon his
firſt conſent, he may be ſatisfy’d and ſilenc’d.
ry.For if he chance but to be delay’d till he ask
Py.Mum. A word to the wiſe.――
Exit.
Cra.Nay, I hope as long as I am a Subject, I ſhall
have Law
: I doubt not but I ſhall have Law.
[F2v]Try.
The City Wit.
ry.Come Sir, you ſhall not deſervedly exclaim of
For our ſometimes Love, I have procured you a hun-
Cra.To diſclaim my right in you, Ile take’t. Here’s
o.Pox, how my Mother ſtaies.
Cra.Scorn my Poverty
! Come, where iſt? Becauſe
I have not the Muck of the World. Come, the mo-
Enter Pyannet.
Py.Here ſir, upon this conſideration, that you diſ-
claim and renounce all intereſt―――
Py.In this Gentlewoman; and do vow, never to
pretend future claim to her.
o.Nay, no marries ſir, you have receiv’d the mo-
ney. You ſhall make no more marries here. Come my
betrothed Spouſe, bid a Fice for him, Say black’s thine
Eye who dares. Mother Ile be married to night, and
Py.This night, Son; tis very late.
o.never to late to be wiſe. I hope I am your Son;
Py.Indeed, he that deales with Woman, muſt take
occaſion by the fore Lock. Away—――
Exit.
Cra.Why
! I am weary of money now
: I have got-
ten more in a weeks Coſenage, then in all my daies of
Honeſty. VVhat an eaſie coole thing it is to be a rich
Knave
! Gramercy
Punck. A witty VVench is an excel-
lent help at a dead lift. But in deſpite of the Juſtice
that provok’d me, my Conſcience a little turns at theſe
F 3brain-tricks
The City Wit.
brain-tricks. But they have all been ungratefull; un-
gratefull! Tis a ſin that ſhould have no mercy
: tis the
Plague-ſpot; who has it ſhould not live.
If holy wiſdome from the thundring Cloud
Had given more Lawes then ten, this had enſu’d
:
Avoid, O man, mans Shame, Ingratitude.
For my poor Lot,
I could have ſweetly ſlept
In quiet want, with reſolute content,
Had not defect of wit, uncurteous ſcorn
Been thruſt upon me. Now they all ſhall feele,
VVhen honeſt men revenge, their whips are ſteele.
My Courtiers are the next that I muſt exerciſe up-
on. This night my wife expects the embraces of one of
them at leaſt, if this haſty Marriage call her not from
her Chamber. But ſhe being a right woman may pre-
vent that with a fained ſickneſſe, or ſo. Let me remem-
ber, J wrote to
Rufflit to come like her Doctor Pulſe-
feele, to miniſter to her. This will jump right with a
counterfeit ſickneſs: It may, perhaps, break a Urinall
about his Coxcomb.
Muſick.
How now! O perceive this great Wedding goes
Muſick. Torches. Sarpego. Toby and Tryman.
Sneakup
and La. Ticket, Pyannet. Joſina in night attire. Brid-
get. They paſſe as to the VVedding with Roſemary.
Craſy whiſpers Joſina.She takes leave
of her Mo-
ther, ſeeming to complain of being ſick; and
ſo re-
turnes with Bridget.
Then
enter Rufflit like a Doctor.
ra.So, this falls out pat. She is no ſooner gone
Sick to her Chamber, but here comes her Phyſitian, to
cover and recover her in a trice.
Ruf.Hiſt, Footwell, Footwell.
ra.Seignor
Rufflit; J am a foole if J took you not
[F3v]Ruf.
The City Wit.
Ruf.She wrote to me, that J ſhould come in this ha-
ra.Right Sir, to avoid ſuſpect: For which cauſe
she has counterfeited herſelfe ſick, and lies longing
and languishing till you miniſter to her.
Ruf.And am J come pat? am J come i’the nick?
ra.Your Fortune ſings in the right Cliff, ſir, a
wench as tender as a City Pullet.
ra.Oh ſir, health it ſelfe; a very Reſtorative.
VVill you in? The way lies open before you.
Ruf.Hold
Footwell, tel that till J return—
gives him
from branching the moſt meritted Cuckold
money.
C
raſy. Poor Snake, that I muſt force thee to caſt thy
Skin. And he were not a Citizen J could pity him
:
He is undone for ever. Methinks J ſee him all ready
make earneſt ſuite, to weare a red Cap, and a blew
Gown; comely to carry a
Staff-torch before my Lord
Mayor upon
Alhalloune night. Watch
Footwell, J
Craſ.But now, if the agitation of my Braines ſhould
work through my Browes. If my Wives pitifull hand
ſhould fall to compoſition with my Doctors Pate, and
my deceit be diſcovered before the Baſtinado had gi-
ven charge to his Shoulders, were not my Forehead in
apparant danger. Tis done in three minutes. Death,
my Courtier has a ſanguine Complexion: He is like a
Cock ſparrow, Chit, Chit, and away. Heart o’ man!
And I should be blown up in mine own Mine now!
Ruf. within.Hold Mrs.
Craſy. Deare
Bridget. Help
Cra.Ho the hubbub’s rays’d, and my feare’s vanisht.
F 4Enter
The City Wit.
Enter Joſina,
and Bridget beating Rufflit:
Craſy takes Bridgets Cudgell, and laies on.
Joſ.Out you Piſpot-caſter.
Joſ.You Gliſter-pipe, thinkſt to diſhoneſt me?
Ruf.Hold, deare Lady
―I am
―――
Joſ.A ſtincking ſaucy Raſcall thou art, take this
Cra.Hold, ſweet Miſtreſs.
Ruf.Oh I thank you good Mr.
Footwell.
ra.Oh, it is not ſo much worth verily.
Ruf.Oh, but tis ſir.
He draws his Sword from un-
der his Gowne. Craſy cloſes
with,
and diſarmes him.
Nay prethee ſweet Raſcall, Pox on you, I did not
mean to hurt you, my honeſt Vagabond, tell me, tell
me: Come, who was’t put this Trick upon me. Thou
art a precious Villain; Come, whoſe deviſe was it?
Whoſe plot. At whoſe Suit was I Cudgel’d? Who made
me feigne my ſelfe a Phyſitian, till I muſt be forc’d to
go to the Surgeon
? And dare’ſt tell me?
Cra.Nay, then I will tell you. Dare! why twas
your Friend and Rivall, Sir
Andrew Ticket.
Cra.Even he ſir. His Gold hir’d me to gull you.
And this brain procure’d your beating. Yes faith ſir,
Envie, bribes, and wit have wrong upon you.
Ruff.Well, if I revenge not――
[F4v]Ruff.
The City Wit.
Ruff.I, afore Heaven, that’s well thought on. Give
me but the meanes, and I will not only forgive, but
Craſ.Come faith, becauſe I would have both your
Shoulders, go in one Livery, I muſt diſcloſe. Why
ſir, Knavery is reſtorative to me, as Spiders to Mon-
keys. The poyſou of wit feeds me.
Enter Ticket.
Boy with a Torch.
Look you ſir, he’s come. Stand cloſe, take this Cud-
gell, graſp it ſtrongly, ſtretch your Sinewes luſtily;
And when you ſee him hang by the middle in a Rope,
let your Fiſt fall thick, and your Cudgell nimbly.
Ruf.And ſoundly. My ambitious blowes ſhall ſtrive
Ruf.Draw him up but halfe way.
Cra.So ſir, I muſt up to receive.――
Exit.
Ruf.Do ſo: I ſhall be ſo reveng’d now! He had
been better ha’ been taken in Bed with another mans
Wife, then have prevented me thus.
Tic.Vaniſh Sirrah with the Light. This I am ſure
is the Window which her Letters call’d me to.
Ruf.I would you would begin once, that I might
be at work. I do not love to ſtand idle in the Cold
Tic.Hiſt,
Footwell, Footwell.
Craſy above:Here ſir, here. O I watcht to do you
a good turn. Will you mount ſir?
Tic.I will mount, remount, and ſurmount. I won-
der that there is not a ſolemne Statute made, that no
Citizen should marry a handſome Woman; Or if he
did, not to lye with her. For and twere not for Gal-
[F5]lants
The City Wit.
lants help, they would beget nothing but Fooles.
Craſy
lets
Cra.Right ſir, right ſir. Take the Rope,
downe a
and faſten it about your middle ſir.
Rope.
Tic.Why, that’s
Craſy; a very Coxcomb.
ic.A meer Citizen. Were’t not a shame his wife
should be honeſt? Or is’t not pity that my own man
should
wholly enjoy a rare excellent proper woman,
when a whole Corporation ſcarce affords two of
Cra.Moſt true ſir. Now mount ſir. I pluck courage-
ouly. Pray
Hercules my ſtrength faile me not.
Ruf.Up ſir, up ſir.
Rufflit cud-
ic.Pox, and pain! Hold Doctor.
gels him.
ic.I am moſt ſenſible of your Salutation. Pluck
ra.Alas the Cord ſticks ſir; Ile call ſome help
ic.Death and Devils!
downe.
RufArmes,
Shoulders,
Sides.
Enter Craſy.
Cra.Paſſion of
Heaven Doctor: Ile Doctor you a-
ic.Redeem me deare
Footwell
ra.Yes ſir I come for the ſame purpoſe. Alas ſir,
me thinks I even feele your blowes. Are you not ſore
[F5v]Tic.
The City VVit.
ick.Sore? Couldſt thou not pluck?
Cra.Sure I was Planet-ſtruck; the rope ſtuck in a
ic.A Pox o’the ſlit, ſay I.
Cra.Know you this mad Doctor? Or do you owe
ic.I know him not nor do I owe any Doctor any
thing; I onely owe my Barber-Surgeon for a dyet-
Cra.Speedily make up your face Sir,
Ent. Rufflit
here comes company: M.
Rufflit!in his owne
Ruf.Honeſt
Footwel! how doſt? Sir
ſhape.
Andrew! Heartily how is’t?
――He hugs and
ic.As heartily as thou wilt; but
ſhakes him.
Ruf.Why what’s the matter?
ic.I bruiſ’d my ſide e’en now againſt a formes
Ruf.Parmaſity, Sir, is very good, or the freſh skin of
Ruf.The fly-blowes of a dead dog, made into oyl,
and ſpread upon the kell of a meazell hog.
Muſick.
Cra.Hark Gentlemen, the Wedding comes, forget
old bruiſes, and put on ſenſe of the lighteſt colour
:
for this houſe to night vowes to run giddy with mirth
Enter Lights: Sarpego, Toby, Tryman, La. Ticket,
Pyannet, Sneakup.
Ruf.Joy, health, love and children to this happy
ic.Unbruiſ’d bones, and ſmooth foreheads to
[F6]Py. What
The City VVit.
Py.What ſhall no device, no mirth ſolemnize my
ſons match? Go
Sneakup, call downe our daughter.
[Exit Sneakup]
In deſpight of ſickneſſe, mirth and joy ſhall make
ry.O mother, cold ſobriety and modeſt melancho-
ly becomes the face of the Matron; unedifying gawdes
are Prophane vanities. Mirth is the fat of fools, onely
vertue is the nouriſhment of purity and unſinning ſin-
Py.By the leave of your wiſdome daughter, wee’l
take the wall of your preciſeneſſe: for Mr.
Sarpego has
told me of a learned ſubject for a Ballet, which wee
ſhall ſee acted preſently.
ry.What is it, ſome Heatheniſh Play?
Sar.No certes, but a very religious Dialogue, full
of nothing, but morall conceits betwixt Lady
Luxury,
ry.But who ſhould act and perſonate theſe?
Sar.Why in that lies the nobility of the device; it
ſhould be done after the faſhion of
Italy by our ſelves,
only the plot premeditated to what our aim muſt tend:
Marry the Speeches muſt be extempore. Mrs. Bride
would I have to play Dame
Luxury, and Mr.
Footwell
Py.And my husband the Fool.
Enter Sneakup, Joſina and Bridget.
Sneak.I, and’t pleaſe you wife.
Sar.Ile play the Inductor, and then we are all fit-
Try.I pray you what is Lady
Luxury? A woman
[F6v]Sar.
The City Wit.
Sar.In ſincerity not much better then a Curtezan;
Try.And do you think me fit to repreſent an open
Creature? Saving your modeſties, a Whore. Can I
play the Strumpet, think yee?
Joſ.Truſt me Siſter, as long as it is done in private,
in ones own Houſe, and for ſome few ſelected Gentle-
mens pleaſure; Me-thinks the part is not altogether the
ry.Modeſty defend me! you think tis nothing to
Sar.Why ſurely religious Lady, it can be no diſ-
grace to you to figure out the part
: For ſhe that can-
not play the Strumpet if ſhe wonld, can claim no great
Bri.How gravely and ſententiouſly he ſpeaks.
ob.Wife, it ſhall be ſo
: It is my firſt Injunction;
you ſhall do it, or diſobey me. You muſt play it.
Tob.I, in jeſt: What hurt is’t? And Mother, you
ſhall excuſe my Father for this once: For ſince my
wife plaies the Whore, Ile play the Foole my ſelfe.
Though, I know, you had rather ſee him do it, you
ſhall ſee for a need, I can make ſhift to perform it as
well as he; as naturally, and to the Life.
Sar.Exceeding well thought on, I pray you, Lady,
Py.Let learning direct, I am not to preſcribe to the
To.Come ſweet heart, let’s in and tire us, and be
ready to enter preſently.
Sar.I fauſto pede――― Ex. Tob. Try.
Cra.O doubt not, Mr.
Sarpego: For know Sir, I
am but a poor ſerving creature, that lives upon expe-
[F7]ctation;
The City VVit.
ctation; Oh Sir my end muſt be husks. Feare not my
diſcharge of the Prodigall―――
Exit.
Sar.Nil niſi Carmina deſunt.
To entertaine ye, while we attire our ſelves.
We want but now ſome Muſick, or a Song,
But thinke you have it. Sit: wee’l not be long.――
Exit.
Py.Seat you Gallants. Sit, ſweet Sir
Andrew, Ma-
dam, and the reſt, and wee’le imagine Muſick, as
Enter Linſie Wolſie, and Crack with his Lute.
How now! By what miſrule comes he to trou-
Lin.By your leave, Gallants, I have brought you
Py.You Sir, I know your purpoſe, and it is preven-
ted; you come after the Marriage to forbid the banes.
Ha ha ha ... you are ſhort, M.
Wolſie, you are ſhort.
Lin.Good Mrs.
Sneakup you are wide. I come to
wiſh joy to the match, and to tell you I rejoyce, that
I miſt a Bridegrooms part.
Lin.You ſee I wear no Willow, and am merry:
All’s true you told me, boy?
Crac.Yes by my deteſtation to Bridewell Sir.
Lin.Sing boy that ſong. If I have any griefe, it
ſhall be all vented in a Hymeneall Song.
Tic.I have not known him in this humor.
Ruf.Sure ’tis a merry madneſſe for the loſſe of the
Py.Since you come friendly, you are welcome,
M.
Wolſie. Pray ſit with us, and heare your Hymene-
[F7v]Crack
The City Wit.
Crack ſings.
Jo Hymen, Jo Hymen, Jo Hymen
Py. This begins
Was wont to be ſtill the old ſongwell.
Where the merry merry gueſts
With joy and good wiſhes did throng:
But to this new Wedding new notes do I bring,
To raile at thee Hymen, while ſadly I ſing.
Fye ô Hymen, fye ô Hymen, fye ô Hymen,
What hands, and what hearts doſt thou knit?
To an Heire that wants nothing but wit.
Yet thus far, O Hymen, thy anſwer is made,
When his means are ſpent, they may live by her trade.
Py.He ſings
Hymen and
Hymen; but me-thinkes
the ſong is ſcandalous to the Marriage.
Lin.Excuſe me Lady, though I was cozen’d of the
Bride, I have no ſuch malice; ’tis a ſong that the boy
could ſing by chance, and made by a couple that were
lately married in Crooked-Lane.
Py.O, is it ſo Sir? I knew not what to make of it.
Floriſh. Enter Sarpego, the Prolocutor.
Tic.Let us attend I pray; the Prologue enters.
Sar.Right Country Dame, and Courtly Lady,
Look for ſenſe as ſmall as may be;
But, if wit deceive your thinkings
Know our Muſe diſdaines baſe ſhrinkings.
[F8]Hold
The City Wit.
Hold a while your Verdicts bridle,
Judge not yet our Project idle,
Till at length the cloſe may ſhow it,
If we act the part of Poet.
Enter Tryman and Toby. She looſely dreſt like a Curte-
zan, a bowle of wine in her hand. He in a fools
Cap and Coat.
Speak Lechery and Folly, Luxury I would ſay;
I need not prompt them, they know what they
Try.Out you baſe Raſcall, you muddy Slave; thou
haſt married me, and I will drink a health to thy Cuc-
koldmaker.—――
She drinks it off.
To.Sfoot I am afraid ſhee’l play the whore better
then I ſhall act the fool.
Try.Thou under-hearted, dull-blooded Pantaloon;
thou whoſe utmoſt honour is to be made ſo good a
thing as a Cuckold, thou ſonne of a Copy-holder,
and the Pudding-pye womans daughter, doſt thou
think, dar’ſt thou but imagine, that I ſhall ever vouch-
ſafe to love to doe any thing, but laugh at thee? Hence
you Poultroon; thy voyce ſounds not ſo farre as thy
breath ſtinks――
Kicks him.
To.Nay but, nay but do you heare wife? I do not
very well like this; me-thinks you play too much in
Try.In earneſt? Why Goodman Fool, you Cockſ-
comb, you Ninnihammer, you Clotpold Countrey
Gentleman, thou dirty greedineſs――
Py.Why how now daughter? Are you well? Me-
thinks you over-do it too much.
ry.Thou dream’ſt my good husband, that thou
[F8v]haſt
The City Wit.
haſt married the rich widdow, ha ha ha ...
Sar.Now enters Prodigality.
Enter Craſy in his own habit, all hung with Chaines,
Jewells, Bags of Money, &c.
Cra.When the troth is, deare brother, you have
married the rank whore. Ha ha ha.
o.Sir
! ... who, brother
Craſy?
ic. Ruff.Precious friend!
Sar.Dij boni! Domine Craſie!
Cra.And how doe you wife
? When comes your
Doctor
Pulsfeel? But a kiſſe and ſo forth? And would
not one of theſe free Gallants, theſe proper youths
have ſerv’d the turne? I pray pardon mine incivility,
Mother; I was bold to retaine mine owne Jewells.
Ha’ you not forgot your ſingles and your doubles,
your fallings back, and your turnings up wife?
Jo.Why ifaith, dear heart, doſt thinke me ſo ſimple,
that I did not kuow thee all the while? Alas man, I
did but counterfeit, as you did, to maintaine the jeſt;
kiſſe me ſweet duck ... onely to maintaine the jeſt
Cra.Yes, yes, yes, we are Friends. I heartily
thank theſe kind Gentlemen for their loves to you, yes
faith, heartily
: I am better by it five hundred at leaſt.
Be not you jealous Madame, they had nothing for it;
Ruff.Death o’ my Fortune! that was my Gold.
Tic.Plague of a Villain, that was my Jewell.
G[1]Cra.
The City VVit.
Cra.True Gentlemen; and your bounty likewiſe
La. Sir, we ſent theſe things to your Wife.
Cra.I thank you for it; we have but one Capacity
in the Law, you know: What’s hers muſt be mine. I
know thou wouldſt have it ſo ſweet-heart. I am onely
ſorry Gentlemen, that you were ſo well favourdly bea-
ten. That the Foole Citizen, the Aſſe Citizen, the
Cuckold Citizen ſhould procure ſuch a ſound ſwadling
to your wiſe, valiant and ſubſtantiall Shoulders. Is t
not a ſore matter? But reſt, Salves and warnm Oyles
How do you kind Mother? Gentlemen, if any of you
want Money Gentlemen, here ſtands a
City-wit that
has it. I have it, if you want any; ſpeak, I have it, and
will keep it. How does your Coſtard Sir? A Pox o’th
Slit, Sir. Belov’d of
Phœbus, Minion of the Muſes;
deare water bayly of
Helicon, be not proud of your
Preferment, though you are his Highneſſe tutor. Mo-
ther, J take the reſtoring of my rich Jewels very kindly.
O my kind Brother, you have got the rich Widdow;
and you have borne a brain Mother. Your hundred
pound, brother, was moſt thriftily and opportunely be-
ſtow’d. J could ha’ procur’d her to you at an eaſier
rate, Mother. J am onely ſorry for you Mr.
Wolſy, that
you had her not
: Becauſe you very honourably releaſt
me of your Bond before it was due; and are in ſhrewd
danger to be laught at among your Neighbours.
How does good Mr.
Craſy, the Princes Jeweller?
Mother, did not my Father look too wiſe for a
Citizen?
How doſt honeſt
Punck? J am as much beholden to
thee, as to the reſt o’ them.
Py.My ſonne and my heir is utterly undone.
[G1v]To. O!
The City Wit.
To.O! I am quite caſt away.
Cra.O no, you ſhall be no loſer by me; you ſhall
be a gainer by me Brother: Get wit Brother (marke
you) wit. Good faith I pity the poore Citizen, hee
has no wit; a handſome young fellow, with a pretty
beard, and a proper bodied woman to his wife, and
Try.Why doſt heare, modeſtly mumping Mother-
in-Law, with thy French-hood, gold-chain, and flag-
gon-bracelets, advance thy ſnout. If the foole thy
ſon, the Ideot my husband here, have but as much
brains as a Battledore, he may make a faire revenue
of me: Has he not a place at Court? Can he not
lodge me there, and prove weak-ſighted, thick of hea-
ring, ſleepie after dinner, and ſnort when others enter-
taine and Court me? Can he not ſurvey the hang-
ings, read
Cupids Conybery, the Park of pleaſure,
Chriſtian Love-Letters, or ſome other Pamphlet, or
faine ſome errand into the Town, whilſt his browes
Py.O impudence beyond womans apprehenſion!
Sonne
Craſie, we have all wrong’d thee, thou know’ſt
it; thou haſt reveng’d it, we feel it; only do not un-
do my heire, ſave him, bring him but off o’this match
Cra.Why mother, is your ſon grown ſuch a ſawcy
Knave, as he thinkes ſcorne to be a Cuckold? I cannot
cleare him; in truth I cannot
: He has paid for her
deeply, and ’tis pity they ſhould be parted, yes faith
Py.Woman, we do pray thee, we do beſeech thee,
even upon our knees―――have pity on the houſe of
the
Sneakups: quit my ſon, re-
Py. and Tob. kneel.
G 2linquiſh
The City Wit.
linquiſh thy right, make fruſtrate this marriage, and
look thee, before theſe able witneſſes, we heartily for-
give all, and forget: And withall, freely beſtow this
chaine upon thee―――
[Pulls off her chain and
Try.I do receive it.
gives it.]
To.She does receive it, beare witneſs all, ſhe does
ry.Marry on this condition――
o.No I’le no more marries nor conditions, you
Py.I, you muſt make fruſtrate the Marriage; for
look you, you have receiv’d it.
ry.I will, and freely do; only the condition I
would have made, is this, That if you intend longer
to be Maſter of your husband, now that you have
ſeen how well it became me, you will henceforward
do as I do――Look you, wear breeches.
Puls the
Py.O horrible!
coats up, and ſhews
o.How! do you wear breeches?
the breeches.
ry.Yes Sir, breeches; and as good lining and
ſtuffing in them, I hope, as yours have, though they
o.I’le feel that: Sfoot mother this is a man. Come
ry.A young one Sir.
[Puts off his head-dreſs.]
See Maſter your poor ſervant
Jeremy, if he has per-
form’d his part, deſires to be admitted into the Livery
of wit, and to wear this chaine as his enſigne of Free-
o.Jeremy! O
Jeremy! thou wer’t ever too
ry.Except at ſpoonmeat, Sir.
[G2v]Jo. Je-
The City Wit.
ry.Yes, Miſtreſs: Indeed forſooth.
Cra.Well, give me thy hand
: I will love thee as
long as there is ſwiftneſſe in meditation, ſmoothneſſe
in flattery, or conſtancy in malice.
Py.And for the cure that he has wrought on me,
I will applaud his wit, and bleſſe the light
It gave me to diſcover my foule error
:
Which by his demonſtration ſhew’d ſo monſtrous,
That I muſt loath my ſelf, till I bee purg’d.
Sir, by your fair forgiveneſſe, which I kneel for...
Sneak.Heaven make me thankfull: Wife I have no
To ſhew how I rejoyce: Riſe, let me kiſſe thee ...
Sar.T
empora mutantur. The towne’s ours again.
Only, to fill the Scene with joy, may wee
Conjoyn ſweet maid, in the Cataſtrophe.
Bri.Would you that have taught Greeke, and
whip’t great boyes, come backe to your Horn-book,
and let down your Gaſcoines to me, that would, if I
had you, bee more tyrannous then any Pedant that e-
ver reign’d ſince the dayes of
Dionyſius: Beſides here
is my choice, with my Maſter and Miſtreſſes leave,
Je-
Cra.But is hee ſeriouſly thy brother
?
Try.Yes, and no more a Pimp Sir, then I am a
Cra.Well, Mr.
Sarpego, I’le help you to a fitter
match, and
Crack I will give thee ſomething with her:
Take the ſecurity of my hand.
Crac.I only deſire to be ſecure from this mans fu-
ry, and ſo conſequently from Bridewell.
Cra.He ſhall have nothing to ſay to thee.
G 3Lin.
The City VVit.
Lin.I will have nothing to ſay to man, woman, or
child, while I live againe.
Sar.Fortuna nihil aufert ſapienti: Fools and Fid-
dlers are her Favourites.
Cra.Let us make this a merry night.
Think of no loſſes. Sirs, you ſhall have none;
My honeſt care being but to keep mine owne.
What, by my ſlights, I got more then my due,
I timely will reſtore again to you.
Omnes.Thanks kind Mr.
Craſy, thanks.
Sar.Gratias vel ingentes Domine Craſy.
[G3v]Epilogue.
The City Wit.
Epilogue.
NOw let me Scholaſtikewiſe
If theſe ſlender Scenes of Wit
Are receiv’d, as they were writ,
For your mirth, and no offence;
Let your Grace quit our ſuſpence
With applaus’d Cataſtrophe.
I am ſhort, w’yee (as you ſee)
There a Figure, which pray note yee,
F I N I S.
