MarginaliaAnno. 1556. Iuly.you must be very circumspect to keepe the band of loue, and beware that there neuer springe vp the roote of bitternes betwene you.MarginaliaThe roote of bitternes to be weded out with the spade of pacience.If at any tyme there happen to rise any cause of vnkindnes betweene you (as it is vnpossible alwaies to be free frō it) see that you weede vp the same with all lenitie, gentlenes and pacience, and neuer suffer your selfe, nor you wife to sleepe in displeasure.
[Back to Top]MarginaliaHow and whē the housband ought to reproue.If you haue cause to speake sharpely, and sometymes to reproue, beware that you do not the same in the presence of other: but kepe your wordes vntill a conuenient tyme (whiche is the point of a wise man, saith Salomon) and then vtter them in the Spirite of meekenes and the gronyng spirite of perfect loue: MarginaliaFaultes sometime must be couered with loue.whiche you must also let sometymes to couer faultes, and winke at them if they be not intollerable. What soeuer losse and mischaunce shall happen vnto you, take it pacientlie, and beare it merilie: and though the same shoulde come partly through your wiues negligence, yet let it rather be a louyng warning to take heede in time to come, then a cause of sorow for that which is past and can not be holpen. I know by mine own experience that wee are in this life subiecte to manie inconueniences, and that of nature we are prone to displeasure, MarginaliaNot to take vnkindnes for euery trifle.and readie to thinke vnkindnes for euerie litle trifle, and specially with our best frendes, yea soonest with our louing wiues, which be most lothest to displease vs.
[Back to Top]But let vs beware of this cankered corruption, and consider that we ought most of all, in loue to beare with them, accordyng to Christes example towardes his congregation, for whom hee gaue him selfe to clense it. &c. I had thought to haue treated this matter at large, but euen now I am interrupted and otherwise letted. I doubt not but you know your duetie therin a great deale better then I can declare it vnto you, and as you know it, so will do it: but I loue to be bolde with you. I entende to write also to your wife verie shortly, and so take my laste farewell of you for euer in this worlde. And thus in great hast I am now constreined to make an end. The blessyng of God be alwaies with you.
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Your owne for euer Iohn Careles.
Pray, pray, pray with faith.
Augustine Bernher. Careless, as Foxe mentions in a marginal note, encouraged Augustine Bernher to marry Elizabeth despite what Foxe describes as 'certain lets' [i.e., obstacles] against the marriage. (One of Careless's letters to Bernher, urging him to press forward with his suit of Elizabeth, is ECL 260, fos. 242r-243r. This letter makes it clear that these obstacles included the oppositionof Elizabeth's family to the match).
[Back to Top]This letter was first printed in 1570 and is not in Letters of the Martyrs. ECL 260, fo. 237r-v is the original of this letter.
MarginaliaAn other Letter of Iohn Careles to the wife of the partie aboue specified.THe euerlasting peace of God in Iesus Christe, the continuall aide, strength, and comfort of his most holie and mightie spirite, with increase of knowledge, faithe, and perfect feeling of Gods eternall mercie, be with you my deare and faithfull louing sister. E. B. and with your Godlie louing houseband my deare and faithfull brother, to the full performaunce of that good which he hath so graciouslie begon in you, that in all thinges you maie bee made riche and blessed in him, and your seede after you, now and euer, Amen.
[Back to Top]As I haue beene long desirous to write vnto you (my deare hart in the Lord) not onelie being therto bound of duetie, but also often prouoked of him, to whom I owe my selfe and all that I am hable to do (I meane euen that blessed of the Lordes owne mouth, whom God hath ioyned with you in that holie aud Christian state of Matrimonie) euen so at the last I haue obteined time and occasion, in some part to performe that which I haue long purposed. And for as muche as the Lord of his great mercie and fatherly care and prouidence ouer you his deare child, hath now graciously accōplished that good worke amonges manie others, whiche I (as a frend of the Bridgrome) haue full hartelie wished and often praied for: I thinke it good, yea and my bounden duetie, to treate of suche thinges as maie bee profitable to preserue mutuall loue and faithfull amitie betwene you: MarginaliaSathan an enemie to all godly affaires.whiche I knowe Sathan will chieflie labour to diminishe, if he can not altogether destroy the same, lest by many ioyfull occasions you should bee prouoked continuallie to praise GOD for his good gifte, whiche that enemie hath by all meanes sought to hinder from you.
[Back to Top]As for all other thinges, I knowe you are sufficientlie instructed, and also haue a moste godlie learned companion, who is well hable further to teach you if neede do require. But in this thing I knowe my experience is more then his. Therfore my good sister, first and before all thinges, see that you doe diligentlie consider, that as euerie good and perfect gifte preteinyng to soule and bodie, is giuen from aboue, and cōmeth from the father of light: euen so to whom so euer the Lord dealeth any of his be-
[Back to Top]nefites, of them he doth chiefly require alwaies a thankefull hart for the same: For els he will either take awaie his good giftes againe, or turne the same to their greate discommodity, and in the end to the encrease of their damnation: MarginaliaThe signe of ingratitude.So detestable in his sight is the sinne of ingratitude. But to suche as bee thankefull for his benefites, hee doth not onelie to the olde euer ad new, but also maketh the commodity of his former giftes euer more and more to encrease, vntill by them they are fullie persuaded and throughlie certified of his euerlasting loue in Christ Iesu, whiche is eternall life it selfe: So muche doth hee of his great mercie, delight in a thankefull hart.
[Back to Top]Therfore I do yet once againe earnestlie require you, that aboue all thinges you be thankefull to God for his benefites:MarginaliaGod loueth a thankful hart.not onely for your election, creation, redemption, and preseruation, but also for his other temporall giftes wherwith he hath indued you: amongst the which the chief and most excellēt is (as testifieth the holy ghost) your good, godly, and faithfull louyng housband. For (as the wise man saith) Goodes and possessions may come to a man by the death of his frendes, but a good wife is the gift of God,MarginaliaA good wife is the gift of God. which the Lord wil giue for a good portion, to such as feare hym.
[Back to Top]And the like is of a good houseband, as the Lord hath now giuen you, praised be his name therefore. Hee hath not geuen you an ignoraunt, frowarde, churlishe, brawlyng, wastefull, riotyng, dronken housbande, wherewith he hath plagued many other (as he might also haue done you) but he hath giuen you a most godly, learned, gentle louing, quiet, patient, thriftie, diligēt and sober husband: by whom he will nourish, cherish, keepe and defend you: instruct and teach you, yea care and prouide for you and your children (the whiche he will also by him giue you) such thinges, as be necessary for you. Hee hath not dealt so with euerie body: and yet he hath done this and much more for you my deare sister, and will therto increase ioy and loue betweene you: MarginaliaGod deliteth in the agrement betwene man and wife.For as he delighteth in the loue and godlie agrement of man and wife together, so is it he only that maketh them & al the whole houshold to be of one mind. Vnto the whiche his gracious worke he requireth your diligence, and will vse you as his instrument and mean, the more effectuously to accomplish the same. And therefore I now require you to obserue this my simple counsell, the which I haue here written as a testimoniall of my good will towardes you, because I thinke in this life I shall neuer more see you.
[Back to Top]Now, as I haue shewed you how you should be thankfull vnto God for his good giftes: so I exhort you, and (as much as in me lieth) charge you to be euermore thankefull vnto your deare louing housband: who hath giuen him selfe vnto you: which is a more precious Iuell in the Churche of God, then perchaunce you are yet aware of. Thinke your selfe vnworthy to be matched with such an instrument of God: MarginaliaThe duetie of wiues toward their housbandes.and also reuerence euermore the giftes of GOD in him, and seeke with true obedience and loue to serue hym, in recompence of his true and painefull hart towardes you. Be lothe in anie wise to offende hym: yea rather bee carefull and diligent to please hym, that his soule maie blesse you. If at anie tyme you shall chaunce to anger hym, or to do or speake anie thyng that shall greeue hym, see that you neuer rest vntill you haue pacified hym and made hym mery againe.
[Back to Top]If at any time he shall chaunce to blame you without a cause, or for that you can not do therwith (which thing happeneth sometimes of the best menne liuyng) see that you beare it paciently, and giue him no vncomely or vnkind woord for it: but euermore looke vppon hym with a louyng and cherefull countenaunce, and rather take the fault vpon you, then seeme to be displeased.
[Back to Top]MarginaliaA cherefull countenaunce.Be alwaies merie and cherefull in his companie, but not with to much lightnes. Beware in anie wise of swelling, powting, or lowring, for that is a token of a cruell and vnlouing hart: except it be in respect of sinne, or in the time of sickenes.
Be not sorrowfull for anie aduersitie that GOD sendeth: but beware that nothing bee spilte or go to waste through your negligence. In anie wise see that you bee quicke and cleanly about his meate and drinke, and prepare hym the same accordyng to his diet in due season. MarginaliaTemperaunce in apparell.Go cleanely and welfauouredly in your apparel, but beware of pride in any wise.
[Back to Top]Finally in word and deede shew your selfe wise, humble, mery, and louyng towardes hym, and also towardes such as hee doth loue, and then shall you leade a blessed life. I could speake of manie other thinges, the whiche I haue learned and proued true by experience: but I know